I gather there is a new relationships guide with the straightforward title, Why You’re Not Married… Yet (I haven’t read it myself… yet). It suggests the reasons why a single woman doesn’t yet have a wedding ring on her finger. Interestingly, the author Tracey McMillan has been married three times herself, so she may not be the best guide on the subject. Anyway, the article I read was by a single woman who rightly protested against the idea that every single person will be on the path to marriage – or even want to be.
It made me realise that there is a danger in Christian circles that we can treat single people in exactly the same way: ‘not married… yet’. We are keen, and rightly so, to promote marriage – especially against the background of so many distorted sexual relationships – but we must not forget that God has given us two equally good ways to live: married and single. In his great chapter on these things, Paul says quite clearly, referring to marriage and singleness, that “each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that” (1 Corinthians 7:7). Is that how we see it, I wonder?
This may be particularly relevant in helping those who struggle with same-sex attraction. Where are they to go, and what are they to do, if we give the idea that every single person is not married… yet? It can only lead to despair. So, let’s celebrate singleness as much as marriage and, if we are married, make sure we have single as well as married friends.